”You can click on all the buttons/labels to get a quick help.”
- “Clicking on any of the headers will display information about that subject.”
“On the status screen you can see your current Virtues/Sin situation,”
- “The status screen tracks your Virtues & Sins,”
“According to my research, it’s somewhere in one of the islands nearby.”
- “somewhere on one of”
“A diamond as big as a cucumber”
- That’s an odd comparison. I’d choose a spherical object. Apple, orange, melon if going for the dramatic.
“Morgan eyes sparkled as Otto continued talking”
- “Morgan’s eyes”
“Otto glared at her in such a very scary way”
- either “in such a scary way” or “in a very scary way”
“Morgan and Otto shook hands while Juliet turned to Ebele and I.”
- “Ebele and me.”
“Your progresses in specific profession”
- “progress”
- “professions”
“For example, to become a Nun, you must reach level 10 in Faith skill, but also have a good value in Chastity virtue. There are 14 possible ending professions, each one associated to a skill and a virtue or sin.”
- “to become an Abbess” (otherwise, it’s a bad example since it doesn’t match what is on the page)
- I would say “in the Faith skill” and “in the Chastity virtue”
- “associated with a skill”
- “a virtue or a sin.”
“I’m hope this will become routine.”
- “I’m hoping” or “I hope”
“He was tying up various knots”
- Delete “up”
“Rig training? How unusual. Wouldn’t you be slacking off by now?”
- “Shouldn’t you be slacking” or “Wouldn’t you rather be slacking”
“I tightened the knot and then glanced in John’s direction, who was occupied”
- Delete “direction”
“Growling, I used my binded wrists”
“I waved my binded arms around.”
- “bound”
“It finally dawned on me on why they reacted so strangely”
- “dawned on me why”
“trying to free myself from its line prison.”
- “from the line prison.” Or maybe “from the knotted manacles.”
“as I protruded a lower lip imploringly.”
- “my lower lip”
Do a complete search and replace for “crewmember”(s) with “crew member”(s)
“Crewmembers whispered among themselves, arm crossed”
- “arms crossed”
“It’s not Heileen’s fault that we deliberately avoid bringing up the more... dishonorable details in our trade.”
- “of our trade.”
“We don’t know for sure until they hoist up a flag”
“A red flag was hoisted up,”
- Delete “up”
“filling them with powder and stuffing wading into them.”
- “wadding”
“spotting Jack who pulled on me impatiently down the stairs.”
- “pulled me impatiently”
“If I knew her, she would probably be hiding”
- “Knowing her, she would”
“It was then I noticed there were splinters in her long braided hair, and specks of debris she failed to wipe off her clothes.”
- “she’d failed”
“She was obvious enjoying this fight.”
- “obviously”
“As much as I wanted to watch, I was quickly pre-occupied with the other one. His eyes flickered of desperation,”
- “preoccupied”
- “with the last one.” Or “third one.”
- “flickered in desperation,”
“When he saw me, he grimanced, obviously unhappy”
- “grimaced”
“It’s still a huge step up from a petty theft and showing mercy after a battle with causalities.”
- “from petty theft”
- “casualties.”
“I gave a few of his fingers a hard yank to the side, and I could hear Sebastian wince reactively, and drop me.”
- “I could feel Sebastian wince reflexively, and drop me.”
“Why can’t you just admit to lost to me”
- “admit you lost to me” or “admit to losing to me”
“the crew still kept an vigilant eye out for potential targets.”
- “a vigilant eye”
“The Captain himself was on the highest deck, using his spyglass to survey the horizons.”
- “the horizon.”
“However, if I don’t keep track of plate fleets or any other ships,”
- “Plate Fleets”
“A single shaving falls to the ground as if to support his statement.”
- “fell to the ground”
“However, over time... I began to consider you like a daughter.”
- “consider you a daughter.” Or “to think of you as a daughter.”
“There was a big party at the colony, with music and dancers. However is getting late.”
- “However, it’s getting late.”
“I approach ***, and had fun together. I feel our relationship is getting better.”
- “I approach ***, and we have fun together.”
“However, even if she waved it away as a ‘special occasion, why did she need a dress?”
- “a ‘special occasion’,” (missing ’ )
“She pursed her lips when she found a single black hair on the dress, and carefully removed it before she folded the outfit carefully.”
- Delete one “carefully”
“Whenever I fidgeted, Jonathan gave me a stern look and I deceased for the moment.”
-
the poor girl died! “I ceased for the moment.”
“I am indeed small, but I am also more agile that most of the males on board.”
- “than most”
“Juliet rolled her eyes and quickly side stepped,”
“but Juliet side stepped once more.”
“Juliet side stepped again and tripped me!”
- “sidestepped”
“It was early in the morning, and I could not help but let out a small awe as I gazed upon the sunrise.”
- “could not help but to be slightly awed as I gazed”
This event happened at midday, by the way.
“John has to climb this everyday”
- “every day”
“lowering her chin momentary before she glanced up again.”
- “momentarily”
“I heard an loud shout from below and I crawled over”
- “a loud shout”
“Juliet stood beneath the foremast, and I could tell she was glaring directly from us”
- “directly at us”
“Aren’t you over-reacting a bit, Lora?”
“No, I most certainly am not over-reacting!”
- “overreacting”
“You should know better than walk to around half-naked!”
- “than to walk around”
“Morgan raised and eyebrow and then laughed.”
- “an eyebrow”
“Morgan turned to me, then gave Lora and I a gentle smile,”
- “Lora and me”
“Monsieur Jonathan... stay... sil vous’ plait?”
- “s’il vous plait?”
“Lora gave me a dazed look, then she laid down on her bed.”
- “lay down on her bed.”
“
I do the work. birdy is simply double-checking.”
- “Birdy”
“You really shouldn’t be that selfish. There’s other guests here too.”
- “There are”
“My left cheek widened like a chipmunk”
- “chipmunk’s”
“Luckily there were numerousness crevices”
- “numerous”
“After he had disappeared, Ebele glimpsed in the direction of the cabins”
- “Ebele glanced”
“Hmph! Even if Jonathan is more smoother than you”
- Delete “more”
“What’s going on? Why is there commotion?”
- “a commotion?”
“It was when I noticed that she had a book in her hands.”
- “It was then”
“I briskly walked down the hallway, and skidded to a halt so I can take a sharp turn right before continuing.”
- “could take a sharp turn”
“She would probably stand up, yell ‘you’re late!’ and throw her sword at me right when I open the door!”
- “opened”
“I knocked timidly, and I hear a female voice bark from the other side of the door.”
- “heard”
“As I closed the door behind me, it’s then I got a good look at Juliet’s attire.”
- Delete “it’s then”
“The night gown was so sheer on her,”
- “nightgown”
“The lesson ran smoothly until I noticed an inconsistency related to ‘s payment.”
- Looks like a name is missing here.
“I brought it to Juliet’s attention who scrutinized the numbers.”
- This needs a comma, or the meaning becomes something else: “attention, who scrutinized” or “attention, and she scrutinized”
“He visibly looked worried, and his grin began to strain.”
- “He looked visibly worried”
“I left Marie and made my way for Lora and Otto’s cabin.”
- “made my way to”
“I looked up and spotted Juliet, overseeing our activity from the quarter-deck of
Morning Star.”
- “the
Morning Star.”
“I agree, Marie. I guess Juliet thinks she’s too uppity to help us abled bodied sailors.”
- “able-bodied”
“Juliet stood at the side, one foot slightly protruding out, but she discreetly retracted it back.”
- Delete both “out” and “back”
“As I walked away, I glimpsed back and saw Juliet staring”
- “glanced back”
- Search and replace “gravoila” with “graviola”, many instances of this
“I can’t help but think that if he could smile, he would be doing so.”
- “I couldn’t help”
“However, she looked up from her papers, and mumbled out a hesitant line.”
- Delete “out”
“I watched with interest as the Juliet lined up the movable disks,”
- “as Juliet lined up”
“Planning secret sneak pirate attacks?”
- “Planning sneaky pirate attacks?”
“*ahem* -and I spot Juliet wandering on the ship, she always seems so lonely.”
- Delete “on”
“Lora, who had watched the entire scene from a reasonable distance, decided to join Jonathan and I.”
- “Jonathan and me.”
“When a couple gets more affection in public,”
- “affectionate”
“I had just started preparing myself for the day, when I began to hear voices from outside.”
- “when I heard voices”
“Elias was pouring over a thick, heavy, book.”
- “poring”
“My fingers halted and I could feel my heart skip a beat as I tried to processed her comment.”
- “process”
“I glided my digits down slightly to evenly spread the abundance,”
- “I slid my digits”
“I should let Ebele that Juliet was grateful for the medicine...”
- “let Ebele know that”
“I tried finding an item that wasn’t that expensive, and my eyes fell on a lovely pouch that costed less than anything else in the stall.”
- “that cost less”
Reaching level 10 in an advanced skill:
“Check in the status screen, under Professions tab for more informations.”
- “information.”
Dancer ending:
“She was sought by everyone, and was invited to dance for powerful and influential people that had governor positions in the Caribbean.”
- “governing positions”
Credits
Missing a line break at “Writing Alyssa RomeroInitial Editing Riviera”
“I was scared since it was my first attempt in doing something completely different.”
- “attempt at doing”
“And it was thanks to people like you that supported me if I decided to do more”
- “who supported me that I decided”
“Before I could reply, someone angrily brushed passed us”
- “brushed past us”
“I muffled a yawn was I walked down Lime Street,”
- “as I walked”
“I won our little duel far and square too!”
- “fair and square”
“No thanks to the inhuman heat, it did not take long for my legs to began aching”
- “begin”
“not wanting to repeat another dizzy episode in this heat.”
- “not wanting a repeat dizzy spell in this heat.”
“She thrashed in Morgan’s grip, and he clung her closer”
- “he hugged her closer”
“Men that can’t accept the fact that they lost to a woman, or anyone for that matter, honestly are the worse.”
- “worst.”
“My cousin was a mere foot solider”
- “soldier”
“Appearing exhausted, Morgan rubbed the side of his nose as he glanced down, contemplating over something.”
- Delete “over”
“He seemed like he wanted to say more, but he pursed his lips together and gave me a pained look.”
- Delete “together”
“Shoulders trembling, she suddenly she looked very exhausted”
- “she suddenly looked”
“It never did, there was no passion behind my actions.”
- “I never did”
“Do you think getting rid of me this will solve everything!?”
- “getting rid of me like this”
“I did not mind though, I needed time to think, and they respected the space.”
- “respected my space.”
“From the glint in their eye and the swords at their belts, I could tell they were one of the many pirates that frequented Port Royal.”
- maybe “pirate gangs”?
“She sheathed her sword and approached me while I favoured my uninjured leg.”
- It’s the injured leg you favour, as in treat it gently. “favoured my injured leg.”
“I’ve noticed you been completely engrossed in this little book writing of yours.”
- “noticed you’ve been”
“I arched my eyebrows, surprised to find that Ebele short on coin.”
- “Ebele was short”
“I got better things to do anything than chase down slackers.”
- Delete “anything”
“I could not help but feel a little envious about Robert,”
- “envious of Robert” or “jealous of Robert”
“Lora had the same thing, with a glass of bumbo,”
- “glass of Bumbo,”
“Talk about the author or the fun you two writing the autobiography.”
- “the fun you two had writing”
“He saw the dozen or so trees laying down and smiled.”
- “lying down”
“A shaper blade is safer to use, and more effective.”
- “sharper”
“seeing a couple that used to be so fondly in love departing on such friendly terms.”
- “parting on such”
“I fought the urge to caress her mouth, finding them more irresistible as we expressed our affection for each other.”
- “caress her lips,” or “finding it more irresistible”
“We exchanged a hug, feeling secure in her sturdy arms.”
- “As we exchanged a hug, I felt secure” or “We exchanged a hug, and I felt secure”
“Out of fear for my and Marco’s safety, I decided to suggest something else.’”
- “Marco’s and my safety”, also there’s a stray ’ at the end of the sentence.
“Then the two of us start talking about the various books he had and the authors that wrote them.”
- “started”
“I was such in a hurry that I forgot to change into my regular clothes.”
- “in such a hurry”
“Come to think of it, I didn’t seen him when I was out looking for Lora.”
- “I hadn’t seen him”
Lora romance ending
“Only a few people know what was really going on,”
“But in reality, and in front of the people who know the truth,”
- “knew”
“That means there’s a snake on the lose!”
- “loose!”
“Again?! That was the fifth time she’s declined to eat dinner with me this week!”
- “she’d”
“I know she’s not much of an optimist,”
- “I knew she wasn’t much”
“The three of us arrived at Marie’s cabin, and Lora knocked at the door.”
- “knocked on the door.”
“And you? Why you were still awake?”
- “Why are you still awake?”
“What are you doing here, wandering on the ship wearing only your night gown?”
- Delete “on”
- “nightgown?”
“Ugh! Why didn’t she take a dive during the day time?!”
- “daytime?!”
Woodcutter ending
“However, after watching carefully Jack,”
- “carefully watching”
Invite Sebastian for Missionary
“What I was thinking bringing him with me? Sebastian tried to rob the money of the ill!”
- “What was I thinking bringing him with me? Sebastian tried to steal from the sick!”
“Eventually I got accustomed to seeing Elias extracting teeth, although I still grimaced if the patient still felt intense pain.”
- “the patient felt”
“She clutched a handkerchief and looking pleadingly at Elias.”
- “looked”
“You’ll save him right? I don’t have any money but...”
- “save her”
“I approached and sat on the opposite sit of the bed while Elias instructed her to drink.”
- “opposite side of”
“I spent the rest of the afternoon with Ebele as we bounced name ideas back and forth before I settled on rumberry due to their combatibility with the beverage.”
- “compatibility”
“They were just temporarily names for now, to help distinguish them.”
- “temporary”
Inviting Marie to Farming
“Ebele’s knowledge of farming was surprising!”
- Should have been Ebele, who is neutral instead, Marie’s text is missing.
“I mulled over it while I returned to work.”
- “mulled it over”
“I hastily changed the subject, not wanting to damper our hopeful spirits.”
- “dampen”
“She stood with her feet shoulder-width apart, with one foot pointing forward and the back on facing sideways.”
- “back one”
“However, Juliet was taking the time to train me... I can’t even remember if I’d wanted to, or if she just dragged me into it...”
- “couldn’t even remember”
- “or if she’d just”
Pirate Ending
“She spared their lives as gesture of mercy, and earned their respect.”
- “in a gesture”
“We were in the back room of the tavern. Lora was already dressed, and making styling her hair while I reluctantly changed my clothes.”
- either “making” or “styling”, not both.
Praying with Marco
“Marco knew some prayers in Latin, mostly from memorization than understanding though.”
- “more from memory than understanding though.”
Praying with Lora
“Lora’s clothing weren’t really appropriate for praying...”
- “wasn’t really” or “clothes weren’t”
Praying with Sebastian
“Oh my God, Sebastian tried to pickpocket from the offer box!”
- “tried to steal from the offertory box!”
“I walked down the aisle, and went toward one of the transcept, which was a wing of the church.”
- “transepts” or “semitransepts” (half a transept) if there’s only one transept (as there’d be in a “regular” cross-shaped church)
“I sighed and knelt down before the small altar of Virgin Mary.”
- “the Virgin Mary.” Or even “the Blessed Virgin Mary.”
“Yes. We grow herbs and food so we can feed the poor or any children that have no where else to go.”
- “nowhere”
“After a lengthly discussion covering everything from Matthew to John,”
- “lengthy”
Abbess ending
“Heileen went back to England where she took vows to became a nun,”
- “become”
“She spent her life in service of God,”
- “in service to God”
Public Speech with Marco
“Marco isn’t educated enough nor has the charisma to speak in public!”
- “Marco has neither the education nor the charisma to speak in public!”
Public Speech with Jack
“Ugh. Jack presence scared people away!”
- “Jack’s”
“...these weapons are assigned to each of you! If you’re unable to take care of them, you should not be expected to receive a new one!”
- “should not expect to”
Captain Ending
“Heileen loved the pirate life, but she quickly realized that, with Morgan, that there was no space”
- Delete the second “that”
“She decided to join the English Royal Navy.”
- “British Royal Navy.”
“Her crew was the pride of the England fleet”
- “British fleet”
“Heileen rose to the ranks of Vice-Admiral”
- “rank”
Cook with Juliet
“Hmm, definitely Juliet is not the best cook I’ve known.”
- “Juliet is definitely not”
Cook with Marie
“Even if she’s not at Marco’s level, Ebele’s dishes were exotic enough to be interesting.”
- Should have been Ebele, who is neutral instead, Marie’s text is missing.
“It didn’t feel so much slicing as just pushing the knife through.”
- “so much like slicing”
“As I pulled on the knife as I cut, and the blade sliced through the tomato, forming a perfect slice that needed little guidence.”
- Delete the first “As”
- “the blade cut through”
- “guidance.”
“I spoke in a mock stern voice to resemble Marco, and he nodded.”
- “voice imitating Marco”
“The rest of the day was rather busy, but I was able to treat myself with the odd honey cake or too.”
- “or two.”
“Originally they were simple honey cakes with a dash of coffee added, but soon I played around with adding coffee, and then more exotic ingredients.”
- “adding more coffee”?
“Not bad. I think you added too much cinnamon here, since it overpowers the other senses.”
- “other sensations.”
Merchant with Sebastian
“Sebastian moods are a bit irking but he was not a bad negotiator, I have to say.”
- “Sebastian’s”
Merchant with Otto
“Even if he’s away from England, Otto negotiating skills are second to none!”
- “Otto’s”
“As he ranted, my mind could not but help wander.”
- “could not help but wander.”
“The topics mostly covered politics, trade, and other intellect.”
- “intellect” is not the right word here, but I’m not sure what is. “intellectual pursuits” perhaps?
“When he brought up that coffee would be difficult to trade,”
- “to trade for,”
Diplomacy with Marco
“Marco was too informal impress the nobles.”
- “too informal to impress”
“Pst, why am I even here? I have no knowledge in political stuff.”
- “knowledge of”
“My loyalties lie in money, and my Spanish will come in handy.”
- “loyalties lie with money,”
“I hope you have a brilliant suggestion, bacuse I’m curious to what you say in those pirate meetings”
- “curious as to”
“We returned to him, and I walked up to the table, prepared to meet him in the eye”
- “meet him eye to eye.”?
“I let the idea sink in, and the Governor stared intently into the map while he mulled.”
- “at the map”
“I shall issue an proclamation to the Maroons then.”
- “a proclamation”
“...and the swearing and the vulgarly is rampant!”
- “vulgarity”
“Oh no...today will be three years we’re abroad!”
- “aboard!”
“Most were barefoot, and some looked like they haven’t had breakfast this morning.”
- “hadn’t had”
“Understanding what was going on through her mind, I touched her shoulder.”
- “going through”
“Careful! Your energy is very low. If you don’t rest now, you risk to overwork yourself and lose a whole day!”
- “risk overworking”
“We quickened our pace when he heard the foreman called for everyone to assemble,”
- “heard the foreman call for”
“He gestured to a bunch of timber and trees, and other material.”
- “a pile of timber, trees and other materials.”
“I gave him a playful punch in the arm, and he laughed.”
- “on the arm”
“He stood proudly, his arms akimo and I chuckled.”
- “akimbo”
“When John isn’t acting like a fool, he could be... almost attractive.”
- “wasn’t acting”
“While John scrutinized over the incomplete cabinet,”
- Delete “over”
Play Chess with Otto
“Otto skills at playing chess were quite good”
- “Otto’s”
“Jonathan and I were both sitting opposite each other, the chess board between us.”
- Delete “both”
“Jonathan’s eyebrows furrowed as he clasped his hands together, and I tried to hide my growing enthusiam.”
- “enthusiasm.”
“His uneasiness was nearly palatable,”
- I don’t think the word you want is “palatable”, maybe “palpable”?
“A flicker of disappointment appeared on his expression before he sighed.”
- “disappointment crossed his expression”
“In a whim, I set up the pieces once again.”
- “On a whim,”
“Jonathan nodded and volunteered to clean up the chess set while I scanned through the shelves.”
- Delete “through”
“Jonathan surpisingly had little about military and warfare...”
- “surprisingly” and I’d say “strategy and warfare” or “military life and warfare”
General ending
“She entered the military, eventually rose to general, and served under King James II.”
- “rose to the rank of general,”
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